Self Portrait

Took a self portrait the other day…

The image helped me remember how our children are so often…for better or worst…a reflection of our successes, failures, fears, virtues and vices…

Let us pray we do well by them!

-ehw

I Am Peter’s Shadow

    Year after year as a young man I wondered time and time again, “Why would the Lord pick Peter?  He failed in the hour of need! He was boastful and hot headed!  Then he sinned by inaction no different than Adam!”  After gaining many a grey hair, all I can think of is how I am Peter’s Shadow! 

    Peter was the first Apostle to receive and act on the gift of Faith by telling the Lord he was the Messiah.  Peter wanted to protect the Lord but was called a Devil for trying to avoid the Lord’s death in Jerusalem.  Peter wanted no part in the Lord humbling himself to wash his feet, but when corrected displayed exuberance in saying wash my whole body!  Peter struck the High Priest’s slave in the garden with Christ, but denied Christ three times in the garden of man.  Peter did not come to the foot of the Cross, but ran with abandon to the empty tomb.

    I now recognize Peter is the disciple who’s spirit and temperament is closest to mine.  I can get exuberant, but make mistakes just as brilliantly.  I see the world in ways most others do not, but it does not mean I am always right or can even explain myself!  I know the Lord is my God, but in sinning abandon our Lord in both dark of night and light of the day. 

    This Good Friday, as I attend Stations of the Cross, I will recognize myself as Peter’s Shadow on Good Friday.  I know in my life I often abandoned Christ on the road to Golgotha.  I know when I refuse to participate in Christ’s suffering, I hurt Christ and his mystical body even more!

    So I will do as Peter did after Christ died.  See Peter was hiding in that Upper Room Easter morning, but it does not mean he was slothful!  Peter assembled the Apostles over the two days Christ spent in the tomb.  In that Upper Room he was feeding Christ’s shepherds!  It might have been in fear and sheepishly, but he began doing part of his vocation.  He just needed a cue card for his next steps on when and where to re-enter the world!

   As Peter’s Shadow this weekend I will take a page from his life.  I will look at the family God placed in my care, memorialize my failings since I will see them again at my judgement, ask the Lord for forgiveness, and get back to work serving those in my care while I await the Lord’s next command on Easter Morning.  I know the Lord will expect nothing less.

-ehw

Advent and the Tenacity of the Holy Trinity

In my daily journey’s I enjoy looking for events which could be a great photograph.  One theme recurs to me time and time is the tenacity of life to grow where it just should not.  Life sprouts forth from parking lot cracks, granite rock faces, and dry deserts where you scratch your head and ask how and why?  Each time I see life exist where it should be futile, I am served up a reminder of the tenacity of the Holy Trinity in reaching out to us to join them in our daily and eternal journey.

              On a hot summer day, you stand in a parking lot.  You feel the hellish burning heat reflected off the asphalt.  It is a manmade feature on the planet serving a valid purpose, but comes with its own downside in this fallen man influenced world.  Yet as you walk in and out of that lot you see grass and weeds poking their stems as high as possible despite lack of a deep soil or multiple run ins with car tires.  Is this not a reflection of how God’s love comes through the offering of his son to heal original sin?  He came from what the world calls total insignificance.  Jesus preached the word and then was threatened, beaten and crucified despite his innocence.  Yet the same Jesus rose again to preach some more.

              When climbing a mountain, you see a massive tree on the side of a great cliff as you ascend at great effort to see reach your destination.  You see its massive roots wrapped around outcroppings and separating fissures to reach virgin water and soil deposits.  Is this not like how the word of Christ when preached and evangelized by deeds wraps around our jagged personality flaws perfectly?  Is this not the image of Christ digging into our conscience to build our faith in God to survive a tempest from hell through the sacraments of our faith?  Is this not Christ touching John the Baptist in the darkness of the Elizabeth’s womb, and launching the prophet with zeal on his mission for life?

              In my years in the high desert of Fort Irwin, I saw with amazement donkeys surviving in the wild by constant movement from remote water source to water source.  I could barely fathom how they knew which way to go, yet they thrived in good health on that desert floor.  Now almost twenty years since those days, I can see how this points me to the guidance of the Holy Spirit in my life.  The Holy Spirit held my hand through heights of success to the throws of crushing defeat, through good health and bad for my clan, through valleys of faithless people shooting arrows at me from all sides, through my failures due to my own faults, and into the arms of God filled friends to heal my wounds.

              The tenacity of the Holy Trinity is a blessing for each of us, and perfectly explained in this Advent season.  We have the plan for our salvation created at the beginning of time coming to fulfillment because the Trinity never stops working on this world.  God creates life and a plan to atone for our sins, incarnates the Word of God in Jesus to allow God the Son to physically walk the earth with his cross for our sins, and then God the Holy Spirit leads the Holy Family through dangerous deserts on a Donkey to the safety of a cave to prepare for a birth.  This tenacious Trinity can easily be overlooked in the bustle of our lives.  However, when we embrace the Trinity in the moments it reveals itself in our lives we are directed to eternal life with God.

Just Follow the Light

This tunnel we’re in right now is long and dark. Thankfully there is light even in the darkness we can follow.

-ehw

(This is an access ladder on a grain silo at my son’s workplace.)

If we Kept God Above Us...We'd be OK

Day after day the news feed hits keep coming. Left, right, center it does not matter. They just keep coming. I just want my family to be safe and one day reach heaven. I actually day dream of my greatest wish and request of God from time to time in these times of stress. I want to be so blessed that one day my children and grandchildren are circled around me in heaven signing Hosanna before any altar in heaven. I just know our eternal souls will be ok if we keep God on the cross above of us. Yet this is the world’s challenge is it not?

I pray you and yours keep your eyes on God, and help us do the same. We’ll do our best to return the favors as we all march through these turbulent times.

-ehw

The Lights are on...and my Girl is coming Lord

A glorious vigil here tonight. Kellie Marie, our fourth child prepares to receive Christ tomorrow for the first time. I hope soon the whole church reopens fully so we can get back to receiving the food which nourishes our eternal souls. The Lord is lonely for far to long. He calls for us, he searches for us, he nourishes us. We should have never left him so alone. I am so proud to go with our Kellie Marie and take her to meet the Lord.

Our Lady of Perpetual Help Pray for us.

-ehw

The Great Escape Which Failed

It was bound to happen during a lock down under a full super moon. The youngest got caught once breaking out, and was returned to the bullpen with two of his big brothers. His next attempt did not get to far….

Got to find a laugh in times like these and enjoy what can be enjoyed.

-ehw

A Flock in the Desert Without its Master Present

This weekend most Catholic Churches across the country closed to its laymen for the first time in our lives. This created a first for many of us laymen in a developed and religiously open country. The laypeople in the mystical Body of Christ did not connect with the physical Body of Christ through the Mass offered by our Priests. Instead we all found ourselves offering up spiritual communion intentions, and placing great faith in our spiritual connection through the Holy Spirit. In my mind I visualized us as a flock in the desert, without the presence of our master.

In this case, I in no way mean our parish priest as our master. Priests, being fallen people like myself, can be powerful shepherds or incredibly destructive from time to time. We have one master who all these shepherds answer to, Jesus Christ. Jesus is the perfection of Man, and our direct physical connection to God. Priests are part of the mystical body of Christ, a very vital part connecting us through sacraments to God. They are not however our Master.

In the Mass we Catholics have a fullness of worship. We get the inspired word of our Lord through the readings, and participate in the same sacrifice of Holy Thursday and Good Friday in our time. It is a lot to think about! The more you dive into it with your intellect, the more your heart gets set ablaze with fire for Eucharist.

To many of other faiths this may seem unnatural. Well it is, it is supernatural. In the natural human experience we see many examples of this. When we love someone, we make time for them. We long to hear their stories. When we revere someone, we look up to them for guidance. When a good master sees his flock needs substance he provides it. Sometimes the good master also knows what we ask for is a result of our wants and not needs, so he corrects us. When the good master asks for assistance, we willingly provide it and suffer for their requests so we achieve his goals.

The experience of the Mass is the merging of our human experience with the supernatural. The biblical words of God never praise man, they call man from sin to virtue. The words are one of master to servant, caring and ever consistent in the context of the world they entered. In the same way, the food provided by God at Catholic Mass follows prototypes handed down from Abraham to Melchizedek to Moses to David to Isaiah and the real food of Christ himself at the Last Supper. In fact Catholics believe the Eucharist at each mass is the same as the Eucharist of the Last Supper…and yes the Body of God the Paschal Lamb.

In this Lent, we must walk through a spiritual desert. We of course have God’s Biblical words, but we do not have Eucharist. It is like reading a letter between husband and spouse separated due to challenges of this world. Messages get passed alright. However the longing is real for physical presence of the other spouse. The strength of the emotion will be overwhelming at times. We also long to be with our priests, the shepherds working for the Master who we love as brothers in faith. They are the ones trained and consecrated to help us to the master. So we the mystical body of Christ and the physical body of the Church is separated.

The thing about a desert though, a fact I never recognized before living in one for a few years, is life exists there with a tenacity few recognize. You have to dig for it, you have to protect your food and water, your have to learn how to navigate across long distances of scarcity to reach safety. When you reach an oasis, you appreciate it more than you ever would if you lived in a well watered forest your whole life. This is the lesson of this Lent for me, and maybe a whole lot of us. I miss my Lord, and I know a whole lot of people who do as well.

-ehw

Sharing a Passion - Fatherhood

My my first child sketches with pen and paper. My second child is a woodworker and nerf gunsmith. My third child, is the first child of mine to want to make images and videos. It is his second most favorite thing after fishing. It is quite fun to have someone who gets excited if I say we could get up early (like before sunrise) to leave the house to take pictures. (I’m still seeing what #4-6 like to do besides eat donuts).

I’m going to take the moments while I can with him…and savor them. I enjoy talking with him about something, instead of telling him how it is. On cold mornings, I like sharing coffee with him and talking about how Jesus wants us to live. I enjoy seeing his pride as he moves from photo to video…and works proudly in manual mode (which I rarely use….aperture or shutter for me). I love being able to share lenses with him! I love seeing the boy try to become the young man God is calling him to be.

A challenging part of fatherhood is the finding the thing which connects you to your kids. It is hard work to find the connection, but when you find it I think it is the absolute best moments you ever have in the job.

-ehw

Christmas, Good Friday and Easter

On the Epiphany my thoughts came together on the intertwining of Christmas, Good Friday and Easter. In our world we often try to focus on the “hopeful” story. The reality is we cannot get to Easter without the first two, and our God wrote it all into the bible’s imagery for us to know this. I spent all season looking for a photo to capture this, and I finally did last weekend.

On Christmas Mary gave birth to the Jesus, the son of God, second person of the Trinity, in a manger. The infinite became finite The all power powerful became vulnerable. In order to atone for the sins of man, God became both humanities’ High Priest and sacrifice. His first clothes were swaddling clothes. These clothes normally wrapped the dead. His first manger was a feeding trough where animals feed. What grain put in a feeding trough to feed the flock is not already dead? This all foreshadows Jesus’ sacrificial death, and feeding us with his own body in the Eucharist.

On Good Friday Jesus would hang from a man crafted tree called a cross. A tree devoid of life, on which should hang condemned criminals. People who no longer get to live in society. On this dead tree Christ, would complete the ultimate sacrifice foreshadowed at Christmas, and break open the doors to heaven. His body forever broken of its finite bonds, it shatters death, and opens the doors of heaven. From heaven he continues to feed us as the High Priest with the bread of life at every mass, absolve our sins in confession, and await us as our judge at the end of time.

So Christmas supports the total victory of Easter. You cannot have Easter without Christmas. You cannot have the meaning of Easter without the context of Christmas.

Driving on a back road here in Loudoun County, I saw this manger before a cross, graveyard and church. I immediately saw the trough, the cross and its victory it can offer over death and sin if we embrace the full truth of the Gospel in our lives. I hope you do too.

God Bless You!

-ehw

(You can see cross much faster in the black and white, which focuses us on shapes and leading lines. Also a quick thanks to Archbishop Fulton Sheen, who taught me this in the Life of Christ!)

Cousins-A Wonderful Time of the Year

Part of the most wonderful time of the year is watching the cousins get together. My kids are very blessed with four wonderful cousins…three of which I got to stand still for a moment to update their photo for the family photo wall. I found one cousin is a budding entrepreneur, one continues excelling in STEM for potential medical studies, and one now is an avid reader. The fourth cousin is only one…he is a fun loving and adventurous kiddo who I did not catch before Christmas when he visited with my bro.

All the kids love their sports and are close to their parents. They had a great time with my kids…nerf wars, bowling, Christmas day sports, and lots of interesting stories. Great kids with a sparkle in their eyes. We all loved being part of the annual tradition and renewal of family ties.

Well until next year, I know these will be the memories we hold on to.

-ehw

St Jospeh's Cloak-And the Cup of Joe

Just far too long between posts, and being creative. Mostly doing the Dad stuff..working around the house, fixing things and enjoying a few minutes of life. Latest crazy thing for me to do, after a 54 Day Novena with a friend of mine, is the St Joseph Cloak Novena. On week three of four… For a Saint with nothing to say in the Bible I think he has a lot to tell us.

The most important lesson seems to be, don’t get in the way of God’s will. Just do it. Comply with a census law…just take your pregnant wife on a Mule trip. Protect Jesus…take a long road trip to another country. Support a family for years…with the tools your hands can get their hands on. Lose your kid in a caravan…just work the problem an don’t get mad when you find him in the temple setting people straight on God’s law. All done without needing to put his own thoughts on the record. Come to think about it, his thoughts were simply do as the Lord commands. What else is there to say?

Well this is cup still keeps working hard…one of two in the rotation. Chip and all.

Fatherhood: Resting on Christ in a Tempest

This morning I had a rare weekend event…I woke up and everyone else was still asleep! This meant I got an unscheduled 0615 photo trip!

Waterford, Virginia is a nice place to catch some photos. Ten minutes from my door I get a gateway to a historic photographic location. Founded in 1733, and a national historic landmark, it goes back a bit in our history! Many of the buildings, plot lines and walkways let you walk the steps of our forefathers!

On the north side of town there is a bridge over Catoctin Creek. This old creek can get a lot of water pouring in as it drives north into the Potomac River. You can see the steep erosion in the banks telling of the high water’s power in a tempest. This contrasts deeply with the slow curve where grasses grow. On a morning like today it is all just peaceful.

As I dove into editing I began to think about the contrast of raging water power and the peaceful sunrise I witnessed today. While water supports life, in the Bible it also symbolized death. People of all times should fear raging waters engulfing them! Yet it is in water from the small river Jordan we are shown the very first step to become members of Christ’s body on earth. This spiritual death foreshadows the need for us to die with Christ on our own connected crosses to earn our way to heaven.

In rough times, like the night our Lord was ready to be sacrificed at Passover, we see the apostle whom he loved resting his head on Christ’s chest. Here we witness Christ tell all of the gathered a traitor is in their midst! Yet in the midst of such a tempest of emotion one man still rested on our Lord! It is great foreshadowing! He was the only apostle who stood patiently at the foot of the cross the next day with our Blessed Mother. It was this apostle, standing in for the whole church, who received the gift of adoption and duty to care for Mary.

This is symbolic of our own mission as fathers as well. Father’s should teach by example, correct deficiencies the best they can, sacrifice themselves for their charges, and must constantly push themselves to be more Christlike despite our fallen natures by resting in the Lord!

Today’s world is beat up. Its greatest deficit right now is the lack of men willing to be fathers, spiritual or head of a family. Just look in the news to find examples. In my own case, I look in the mirror and review my own missteps. Quite a few saints remind us we must pray and visit adoration 30 minutes a day in normal times. When we are in trouble, we must spend double the time in prayer and adoration!

In a world as crazy as ours, us Fathers must rest in the Lord with all our might. Just read the Bible, Listen to the Saints, go to adoration, say your prayers and then rest in silence with the Lord! Maybe if we can hear his heartbeat a little better, we too will hear the directions needed to rise up to the challenges of fatherhood in our lives.

-ehw

Lovettsville Virginia Honors Those Who Gave All

Today my family took time to really remember those who gave all for us to live our lives in freedom. We attended mass at St.Francis De Sales. We came back home to attend what I thought would be a small ceremony in our little neighboring town of Lovettsville (We live just outside of town). Little did I know this town of 3,000 people would muster up a very honorable and well thought out ceremony which did remind us why this is a Federal HOLY-DAY.

Today I saw too many names of West Point friends and fellow servicemen I served with over my nine years who fell in the line of duty pass in notes between us remaining friends. This ceremony presented a loving tribute to those who served and gave all. It also allowed my children to appreciate the gift of life they have today.

Around or dinner table we talked of millions in re-education camps in China, the brutality exposed by escapees from North Korea, and the technical threats which come from unknown sources stalking our livelihoods around the world. It was a good way to remind my children once again freedom will never be free in this fallen world.

Business customer service fails when we think of pure profit over caring for the customer’s needs. Families fail when we assume our personal wants are more important than the success of the whole unit. National security missions fail when one person assumes their needs are greater than the needs of the many.

For my family discussion tonight this allowed us to come back full circle to how we started our day. We went to Mass, and participated in the sacrifice of our Lord for our salvation. No one more just or powerful ever died for others salvation in all of history. We must strive to remember freedom does not mean the ability to do anything. Freedom means we have the ability to choose the right thing, or accept the consequences of not doing so.

These men and women we honored today gave their lives and never came home. It does not matter how..they gave all for us. They gave of their freedoms so we may have a moment with freedom ourselves. So let us use these moments wisely, and defend our children’s ability to pick up the mission themselves.

-ehw

My Divine Mercy Meditation

Oh Dear Lord thank you for the blessings of this life. Today I know I sit on a hilltop, and want to thank you for this moment where I can say thank you easily. I ask as the inevitable decent into a new challenge comes I find the strength in you to be like Job and the saints. In my thoughts, prayers, words and deeds may I continue to praise you through anything which falls on me.

Your Divine Mercy flows from the wounds you received on the very same cross I must help you carry. I know those wounds you bore came from my evil acts. I beg of you to forgive me, and wash me in the blood and water from your side. I yearn to learn great humility on this journey to our heavenly home, so my pride does not block me from passing through the camel’s eye.

May I always remember suffering has a purpose to help me, and this world, conform to your divine plan of salvation for those who seek it. Give me the wisdom to continually seek and act on true wisdom which only can come from you to advance your will on earth. Finally, please let me have a gift of cheerfulness. I must learn to carry your cross with a calm like your saints.

Jesus thank you for dying on the cross for my salvation. Thank you for offering salvation to my family and the whole world. I pray through the rest of my time here on this earth, I work towards contrition and mending the wounds I inflect on you and your body. At the end of my life…I beg you to grant your Divine Mercy on me so I can make the final step to be with you in heaven.

Jesus I trust in you!

Amen

-ehw

PS We spent the Divine Mercy hour at Adoration today in our parish. Great way to end a Novena.

The World Awaits in Silence

Holy Saturday is always a quiet day for us. After two days in church and building up to a crescendo, we fall into a silence and quiet work of preparation for our Lord’s next great move. In some ways I really dwell on the fact that if he did not arise, all I believe is false. My faith would be a flat out lie. I could have no hope, and life would have no meaning. It would pail in comparison to what the Apostles and disciples were thinking, and worried about in that rented out upper room.

Luckily I know what I believe is true. I know it is true by faith, but even science and recovered history is confirming the many strands of the story as being consistent since the beginning of recorded time.

I wish I could hear the church bells tonight at Easter Vigil mass! What a glorious mass it will be.

Little Color in a Dreary Day

    I heard much sad news, was stuck indoors, and saw the constant clouds out the window today.  So I looked for a moment of solace.  To find one I went into "view my memories mode"...and found a bit of color to share.  It helped me think of the glory of God, and crack at smile to end the day.

The Cowgirl

    My Cowgirl...

    The title suits my baby Big Girl.  Took this after a hot day, late summer birthday party with her friends riding ponies.  I swear you can see her independence, sweetness, and sass all in one shot.  

    Some people say a good portrait is supposed to let you see more than the image of a person...it is supposed capture the essence of the person.  I can use some more practice, but this captures Kelley....

Joyful Fatherly Moment on the Range

     Time is in very short around here.  It is a constant race against time to get up, feed, cloth, clean, teach, maintain, and then get back to bed before it starts all over again.  It seems at least half of the eight of us are always out of sync with the others....Too often our weekends are merely Groundhog Days.  

    Well in the midst of all this I was able to take advantage of a wonderful opportunity provided by the Cherokee Gun Club.  I was able to spend over four hours with the two big boys on the range learning safety, good habits, and showing them what a fun lifetime hobby looks like under the guidance of an incredibly patient guide and trainer from the club.  Look them up, and if you have kids who want to learn the same...contact them.  You will not regret it, in fact you'll be trying to schedule another visit!  The boys will not let me forget to...and Momma liked the confidence the boys came home with.

    The key to the day was the tutelage of Mr. Richard.  You will not find a calmer and nicer man to enforce safety while displaying the joys of shooting.  He listens, coaches, and keeps the focus of boys in a way I wish I could emulate.  He made my job of being an extra safety and assistant coach a joyous one. In fact he made it easy for me to come home and say I helped my boys grow up a bit today.  So I got as much a gift from today as they did.

    One message I always find myself returning to in this blog is why my photography is important to me...and it so much relates to life.  You have to find the good moments and appreciate them.  Today was one of those good moments to be a Dad.  Thanks God and the Cherokee Gun Club.

-ehw

Spring Sprung a bit in Georgia

    One thing I love about spring in our home in Georgia is the ever unfolding reminder of the march of time.  All through the summer the blooming bushes and flowers will rotate with a beauty to remind me of how much greater His Glory will be in heaven.  If you can find a loveliness like this here in a fallen world; imagine what beauty will await where perfection, justice and holiness prevails everywhere.

    Happy Sunday!  Enjoy some time with God today!

-ehw