Over the last few weeks I examined my limitations, faults and outstanding obligations pretty hard. I could look at it as a time of trial and woe..but that would be wrongheaded. I know this is a chance to grow in ways I would not normally force myself to do. For the moment, I am doing it in an environment where the people helping me through challenge are doing so out of a desire to see me grow in my day job.

Reflecting on it tonight I remembered that my best supervisors prior to this little challenge all did the same thing. One company commander told me straight out I was not his choice for the job as his XO, but he'd work with me and see what I could do. Every week he fed me more and more assignments until he left seven months later, and I was able to run the company myself as the CO if needed. He smirked later when he told me "You did alright." In one contractor job I pulled, the supervisor looked me in the eye with a hard message. If he was in town when I applied, no interview or job would have flown my way. That being said, he decided to work with me. Every day for three months I pulled odd task after odd task until I knew my job cold. Seven months later he told me to come back if I needed a better paying job in his company! My growth was part of those bosses plans from the get go. I just did not know it at first.

So the cycle repeats itself again at work. A supervisor calling me to expand my mind, my capabilities and mission to reach his goals and expectations of my position. I am grateful for the opportunity, I have a job and I need to hold it tight in these frightful times. I also know that my growth could determine the fate of my company. If the challenge comes and I am not ready, those we serve could suffer greatly. The wrath of that failure should fall where the fault lies, and if it is me it will be me who starts walking home.

I could not help but to think of this stained glass window from St. Fedelis in Victoria when I thought of this. Here was Mary Magdalene begging for a job, the job of disciple of Christ. She humbled herself to wash Christ's feet with her hair! Here was Christ who challenges each of us to get out of our comfort zone, and do what is right by God's plan even if it is not written anywhere as the law of the land. Each day and night a challenge like those set forth by my best supervisors greets us with a chance to grow as a disciple of Christ. We can embrace the challenge, or walk away.

I beg of you, to take up the cross with a smile. For the rewards of being with him forever are pretty good ones if we bare the cross with as much honor as we can. I'll do my best to join with you in the walk. I hope we can share it and grow together!

-ehw